Monday, September 2, 2013

Aussie Curves- Vulnerable Side

It took me a while to figure out what to do with this week's theme of vulnerable side. What do I feel vulnerable about? I'm fine with my upper arms showing, I've already done the body con dress, I thought about swimwear but I'd rather save that until swimwear week, I don't like wearing short dresses but that's more of a practical reason (I hate stuff riding up when I walk) than a vulnerable issue. Finally, being sick this week helped me figure it out. When I'm feeling sick and vulnerable, how do I dress? What do I wear when I'm alone in the house with no one to see me? 

Firstly, I don't bother with make-up. I don't wear much, but I love a bright lipstick. Secondly, I wear a comfortable, shapeless dress. Usually when I'm putting together outfits, I go for things that are fitted. If I wear a shapeless dress, I'll pull it in with a belt. If I wear a baggy top, I'll tuck it into a skirt. Mostly that's just how I like to dress, but a small part of it is the pressure to look well pulled together at all times. When you're fat, there's a general societal pressure to make more effort with your outfits- a thin person wearing track pants and a t-shirt out in public is just coming back from the gym, or was in a hurry. A fat person wearing the same outfit is seen as sloppy and lazy. There's also a societal pressure to always emphasise your "assets", show the public your small waist, or your thin legs, but hide your fat tummy, your upper arms. Wear clothes that "flatter", show the parts of you that are deemed acceptable, and so on.

Well you know what? I'm fat. I'm fat no matter what I wear. Which is actually a great freedom, when you think about it. If I look fat no matter what I wear, then I can wear whatever I want. I don't exist for the public's viewing pleasure. 

That said, it was still hard to be in front of the camera with no make up, still red-faced from working in the garden, and no belt around my shapeless dress. Vulnerable.








Outfit Details
Dress: Asos Curve (24)
Shoes: Big W (11)
Earrings: Etsy
Hair flowers: Big W





26 comments:

  1. I agree Bek, that's what I think, people are making assumptions based on my size.
    Slowly I'm trying to come to grips with " what people think of me is none of my business"
    Hope your feeling better

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  2. The brocade print of that dress is so lovely, I think your earrings say it all.. Very Ravenclaw! :)

    It's so valuable to remember that we don't "owe" dressing up to anyone. :)

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    1. Indeed. We are not here for other people's viewing pleasure.

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  3. I Love that pattern :) I feel the same about feeling that I have to make more effort when going out than a skinny girl

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    1. Thanks. Yes it's unfair, isn't it.

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  4. And isnt there just something so good about being in a shapeless dress when you are feeling sick and crappy.

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  5. I totally think you are right about there being more pressure to look more put together when you are overweight, which is a reflection on society, not plus size people.
    However I still think you look quite put together here, a cute dress and matching hair flower :) Shows that what makes us feel vulnerable, others don't necessarily think anything of

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  6. I am starting to wear things for the pure pleasure rather than because they make me look 'tinner', because I realised 'Hell, i'm fat, and sometimes I want to wear something because it's lovely, not because it is flattering'. So, I now wear kaftans in summer. Shapeless, flowy, but colourful, comfortable and they make me happy :)

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    1. Awesome! Everyone should dress for their own pleasure, I think. :-)

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  7. I agree about the wearing shapeless outfits but to be honest you look comfy and cute and put together :)

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  8. So well said! We are who we are so let's just wear what we want! And you know what? You look beautiful :)
    Elle www.theellecurve.com

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  9. You look lovely! The 'no make up' thing is massive for me, too. I've been forcing myself to go bare when I can, like to the supermarket.

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  10. You're so beautiful. This is SUCH a rgeat post. Loving those EARRINGS! Gah.

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    1. Thanks Mel! It was nice having the opportunity to say a bit more than I usually do. I should do it more often.

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  11. You look great - and the freedom of knowing and accepting that you're fat is what got me through my wedding day and dress shopping. Everyone who knows and loves me sees me everyday - and they know what I look like, and I know what I look like so what's the problem! I need to try to bring more of that into my everyday.

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  12. Comfort dressing, love it! I'm happy to spend all day in PJs - it's almost 4:30pm and I'm still in them - but step outside the house? No way, I even put a load in the dryer rather then risk going outside and being seen by someone. I have got to fix that - thanks for sharing!

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    1. You're welcome! Ah yes, I practically live in my PJs on the weekends. :-)

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  13. Couldn't agree more! However you look fabulous

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